I couldn't resist reposting this article from the satirical news website The Daily Coitus. You can see the original article here. Thanks to Laurie Penny of Penny Red and the New Statesman for the alert..

In a stunning turnaround from early campaign polling an orange safety jacket has claimed victory in the Christchurch mayoralty race.

Early numbers released by the Christchurch City Council showed Orange Jacket had a comfortable margin of approximately 20,000 votes over former Kiwibank president Jim Anderton.

While polling below the margin of error before the Christchurch earthquake Jacket made a leap in public awareness shortly after September 4. Many voters appeared to respond to the durability of Jacket during the days immediately after the earthquake.

Political commentators have also pointed to the versatility of Jacket as a major factor in the final result. “Be it sleeves rolled up for work, or down for business, Jacket always appeared ready to act,” said Christchurch Press political editor Colin Espiner.

Jacket refused to be drawn on whether the earthquake may have contributed to the dramatic improvement, stating it was not a political move to avoid debates in the lead-up to the election. “Voters know I’ve got nothing hidden up my sleeves.”

Detractors had also repeatedly accused the new mayor of media grandstanding. “That’s rubbish,” Jacket vehemently denied. “I’m ‘high-vis’. What else am I meant to do?”

While Orange Jacket would not confirm immediate plans for the coming days it is understood Joanna Nicholls-Parker will be confirmed as Deputy Mayor by next Wednesday. In the meantime Jacket emphasised the work ahead. “I won’t kick back and properly unzip until Christchurch is rebuilt.”


  1. The Canterbury Museum has to have the jacket for it's collection.


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