
Christchurch is reeling at the news that Mayor Sideshow Bob will be seeking a third term as mayor of the quake-devastated city.
'What would Tony (Marryatt) do without me?' said Parker. 'Who would he have his secret meetings with? He might get asked to pay back that $34,000 worth of back pay he promised to return. Remember - a vote for me and good local government means voting twice.'

'We've had earthquakes, Gerry Brownlee and CERA - and now this. How much longer does Christchurch have to suffer?'
Ms Wilson is still waiting for her quake damaged home to be repaired.
Dave 'Hendo' Henderson, a former property developer who was placed in bankruptcy in 2010, said he was 'delighted' that his good friend was standing for re-election.
'Christchurch deserves more of Bob like I deserve a good dose of the clap. And I could do with a few more million to get me back in the property game. I know that Councillor Sue Wells would vouch for me - like she did last time.'
Civil Defence said they were aware of Sideshow Bob's mayoral ambitions and were monitoring the situation closely.
'The situation is not unrecoverable.' a spokesman said last night. 'The solution lies in the hands of the good people of Christchurch - vote the clown and all his flunkies out of office.'
Traci of Aranui can go whistle for her quake repairs, because Bob has discovered that we DON"T NEED MUNTERS! "Christchurch used to have slaughterhouses - now meat comes from the internet. When we're old and incontinent ROBOTS will do the nasty stuff. If you people must live, do it in Invercargill or somewhere."
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